Official "OPERATION #EFAD" Communiqués
Communiqué #12: Book-Bomb Day 5, Monday, March 5All right, cyber troops, tonight at midnight marks the official end of Operation #EFAD. We still have much of today to accomplish the final, hardest, and most important part of our "time-on-target" internet and media barrage.
Enemies Foreign And Domestic is holding very strong at #19 of all free fiction on Amazon Kindle. That is plenty good enough to serve today's purpose. Anything in the Top 100 would be good enough, but #19 is terrific! And it's great to be across from another "famous brand name" author like James Patterson.
So we know what we need today. We need a telephone ninja with enough cleverness and wit to charm the most cold-hearted of call screeners. And they are often brutal. Being cut off with a click after being on hold for hours is routine. Often the host will just "clear the board" when he wants to change direction.
That is where the phone ninja's personal charm will come in. During those brief moments with the call screener while on hold, the screener must be taken in and practically seduced by your voice. He must think, "Well, I will clear the board as I was told ... except for Sally in Oklahoma. I just can't drop her. She is too witty, and I love her voice. I mean, she is just so lively and fun!"
(Now you can see why I think this mission will be a lot harder for a male phone ninja.)
The victorious telephone ninja will need the patience and determination of a Marine sniper, lying motionless in the dry grass in a ghillie suit, waiting for hours to take one perfectly aimed shot.
So today, Monday March 5, we need a telephone ninja, who can stalk through the long-distance wires all the way to the biggest microphones and up the tallest radio transmission towers in America. You know who they are. You know how long in advance callers must phone in, to try to slip past the often surly and rude call screeners, to reach the objective.
The difficulty in accomplishing the mission does not deter the telephone ninja, but rather, it spurs her (or him) onward. The greater the degree of difficulty, the greater the satisfaction upon mission completion!
No matter what happens today, Operation #EFAD will have been a great success. Watching Enemies Foreign And Domestic make #2 on Amazon was tremendous, and it was all due to your help. But to lift this operation from an internet curiousity, up to the topic of a national discussion, will require a ninja getting through to one or more of the top-tier national talk radio hosts. If that happens, instead of 30,000 free downloads of EFAD, there will be MILLIONS by midnight, tonight!
And tomorrow, Enemies Foreign And Domestic, the novel that predicted Murdergate, will be a national sensation.
And then, and only then, will we be able to force the elite liberal media establishment to confront their complicity in protecting Gangster Government, Inc, by their covering up, instead of exposing, the mass-murderous extent of President Obama's Operation Fast And Furious, which was his cruelly evil plan for "gun control under the radar."
Several topics that will probably be discussed on talk radio today can provide an opening for the successful telephone ninja to take her (or his) perfect shot. Operation Fast And Furious itself might come up, as the DOJ's cover-up rolls on, and Issa's congressional committee "meows" its pathetic demands back at A.G. Holder, who continues to smirk back and give them the middle finger.
Or it's likely that liberal media bias and hypocrisy will come up as a topic, in relation to Rush's lamentable situation with Ms. Fluke, the woman who needs 3,000 condoms per year (paid for by us), but whose character must not be impugned. The elite liberal media protecting Gangster Government is a key theme in Enemies Foreign And Domestic, and a natural starting point for mentioning EFAD's amazing success on Amazon for the past five days. A woman is more likely to get on the air to discuss the Ms. Fluke fiasco. Then a quick half-turn to, "You know, there is a novel written from the conservative point of view that tackles all of these media bias issues head on. It really gives the liberal media what-for. And it was written in 2003!"
You all get the idea. Good luck, and good hunting!
But no matter what, Operation #EFAD was a great success, and I thank you all for making it happen!