Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Mental Preparation for Killing: A Real Life Journey

I have a very close female friend (not that gender matters) that was reluctant to get her CCW permit because her mindset was not yet developed to the point of being comfortable with taking a life in order to defend a life (hers or someone else's).

Originally I was just going to link to Mosby's latest post "Developing a Pre-Disposition For Effective Violence" but I felt the need to share a real life example.

Mosby discusses 6 attributes needed to prepare mentally for the act of killing another person. I know my friend has achieved these.
Visualization - We are constantly playing out 'what-if' scenarios and coming up with solutions. Constantly.

Training - She's taking Krav Maga classes to better her natural fighting skills and learning combat shooting, not plinking shooting. She also does PT regularly and can run circles around 95% of you guys (myself included)

Objectivism - The Krav Maga classes help her know where she is weak and she uses that knowledge to strengthen those areas. She knows her limits, her abilities and weaknesses, and takes action to improve and correct them.

Relaxation - In a stressful situation, she is the most calm person I know. She doesn't panic, she doesn't freak out. She takes charge of the situation calmly and focuses on the task at hand.

Talk - She is constantly telling herself that she can do this. She comes up with exit strategies. She's confident in herself and looks for alternatives to any situation.

Belief - She believes that life is sacred and anyone attempting to steal someone's life from them has forfeited their own. She has no issues with taking a life to save the life of others.
So let me tell you a little background on how she got to this point. I've known her for close to 6 years in which time we have become very good friends. We would butt heads constantly but somehow in doing so, we started to mutually respect each other. She figured out without me telling her that I conceal carry. Woman's instinct. Attention to detail. Also the fact that she bumped into my pistol with her hand one day. She didn't freak out, she didn't panic. She actually was comforted to know this. So our discussions would often revolve around why I carry, why she should carry, scenarios, what-ifs, etc. Slowly she started to absorb it all and eventually began to change her mind until she reached the point she is at now.

She is always situationally aware, more than anyone else I've met. She is always looking for danger in order to avoid it. Learning first hand, at the age of 9, that monsters walk among us will do that to you.

A culmination of events finally crystallized her mindset and willingness to take a life. We would talk about 'What-If' scenarios often. Usually active shooter in the workplace related. Evac plans. Alternate exits. Bunkered down in the office. Etc. Then it expanded to outside of the workplace type of scenarios. Walking down the street. Crowded events. Movie theaters (ie: Aurora Shooting a-la James Holmes). Jogging. Parking lots. Etc. We have contingency plans in place for these things that we've gone over and agreed on if we're ever together when something bad happens to go down.

She's a 5'-10" very fit, strong, tough woman with a mean left hook. (I doubt she'd have any problem with PT issues in any of Mosby's classes) Not to mention, she's very beautiful, which attracts creeps and trouble-makers. She's always armed with at least one knife, pepper spray, and a Cat-Knuckle. She thought she could just fight off any attacker if it came down to it.

One day, her friend got robbed at gunpoint. The robber made off with his wallet and the entire purse of the girl he was with when getting robbed. Before the robber left, he fired one round into the side of the wall they were near to send a message not to follow him. Well, now the robber not only had their money, he had the means to find where they live in order to come back to get some more from the good looking woman he robbed.

Shortly after that incident, and a few discussions later, I showed my friend a video from a security camera, (see below) that showed 3 punks approaching a couple in an underground parking garage. The man falling for the bait, ended up fighting 2 of the punks and getting knocked out while the third punk grabbed the woman from behind and started carrying her off screen, obviously to do something vile against her will. After seeing that video, the switch was flipped in my friend. She visualized her husband and herself in that situation. 3 against 2 with no way to even the odds. She thanked me for showing her the video and it played over and over in her head. Her wheels were turning.


Shortly after seeing the video, she took a free woman's self-defense class at the local Krav Maga school. This was a force-on-force training with full contact on the padded bad guy. When it was her turn, she got picked up from behind, just like the woman in the video, and fought him off with all her might. This was a wake up call for her. She realized that her life was more important than that of any attacker and vowed to never let that scenario occur in real life. Anyone who attempts to hurt her or her loved ones had just forfeited their life. Her mind was changed.

She told me that she was ready to carry concealed and get a carry gun (she's already excellent with a pistol). This made me very proud of her. She finally 'got it' and understood why I carry everywhere and do the things that I do. She was taking steps to be be able to defend herself and taking personal responsibility for her own protection. She realizes she can't rely on her husband or myself to be there all the time to protect her. I got her enrolled in a CCW class, took her to apply to get her permit, and now we wait. In the meantime, she has enrolled in Krav Maga classes to further her self-defense skills.

She's told me, "I pity the poor bastard who tries to fuck with us when we're together," because she knows that I won't hesitate to use deadly force and neither will she.

We have a pact, "My life for yours. Your life for mine."

You might not be looking for trouble, but trouble might be looking for you.  And try to have a friend with the same mindset and skills with you when it does.

Be ready. Train. Prepare. Resist.


  1. Sounds like she's got a good head on her shoulders. Kudos to you for helping nudge her over. We need more women with her mindset.

  2. It sounds like your logic finally punched out her "911" liberalism.